Your past is your story up to now. The future is the story yet to come. The present is where you live with that experience, your hopes and your dreams." A blog about My Journey through life written to share with my Sons when they are older. With a view to my reflections of life and experiences and some tips on life's lessons that they or others might encounter. Hope you enjoy what you read. Thanks to all who have taken time to read my posts
Me,Myself and I
- a Seeker of the TRUTH
- Aberdare, South Wales, United Kingdom
- I am a seeker of the truth. Honesty & Integrity are very important to me. I am a student of life who Loves to learn from Life and friends. I live by a system of values and honorable principles. I am a harmony seeking idealist. I am keen to understand others,and what makes them tick.I seek ways to improve my mental ability.
Thursday, 22 January 2015
Monday, 19 January 2015
Compassion and Dreams
About compassion
Sometimes we think that to develop an open heart, to be truly loving and compassionate, means that we need to be passive, to allow others to abuse us, to smile and let anyone do what they want with us. Yet this is not what is meant by compassion. Quite the contrary. Compassion is not at all weak. It is the strength that arises out of seeing the true nature of suffering in the world. Compassion allows us to bear witness to that suffering, whether it is in ourselves or others, without fear; it allows us to name injustice without hesitation, and to act strongly, with all the skill at our disposal. To develop this mind state of compassion…is to learn to live, as the Buddha put it, with sympathy for all living beings, without exception. ― Sharon Salzberg, Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness
As Sharon writes here, compassion is not something that we can afford to live without. It’s something that we all need to navigate in the world today. We need it for ourselves, our families, communities and the world. But, it does start with you. Without first developing compassion for ourselves, it can be a struggle to offer true compassion for others. We must first accept that we need it and be willing to incorporate compassion into our lives.
I believe that compassion can help us to transform our lives. Also, know that compassion can transform your resistance into openness and acceptance. Being open can help you to live a more fulfilled life, and living in this way can help to transform your world. We are all powerful. We all have a place. We help to build a better world when we utilize our compassion for the betterment of everyone. Having compassion is about accepting that you are part of a connected world. It’s about accepting that you are not alone. Your actions matter.
Compassion and Dreams
“My message is the practice of compassion, love and kindness. These things are very useful in our daily life, and also for the whole of human society these practices can be very important.” ~ Dalai Lama
I feel compassion is necessary for delving into your dreams or undergoing any kind of personal exploration. Dream analysis can bring up connected thoughts, emotions and memories. But, your dreams offer you a way to heal and transcend the past. With compassion we can allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to approach our dreams.
“I have had dreams, and I have had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” ~ Jonas Salk, M D
Whether you perceive it as dream, nightmare or vision, your dream does have a message. Having compassion and a willingness to be vulnerable will give you the courage and stamina to approach your dream and be able to be curious about it. What does it want for you? What does it need from you? Dreams can bring both answers and questions. But, when we close our hearts to them, we toss away their insights. By opening your heart, being gentle with yourself, and approaching the dream with compassion you can finally communicate with your dreams. Your dreams offer wisdom, but you must be willing to open up to that wisdom.
The greatest distance in the existence of Man is not from here to there nor from there to here. Nay, the greatest distance in the existence of Man is from his mind to his heart. Unless he conquers that distance he can never learn to soar like an eagle and realize the immensity within. ~ Sandra Ingerman – ‘The Hollow Bone’
As Sandra says, it’s important to find a connection to our hearts. Compassion does that. It helps you to connect and communicate with your heart, so you can indeed soar. Having compassion, for yourself and others, is vital for self-acceptance, empathy and tolerance. Without self-acceptance it can be difficult to move past your perception of the initial message of your dream. We put up our shields and become invulnerable to the message that the dream brings. And, that’s probably when a dream seems like a nightmare. But, you can bring your hands to your heart, and ask, “What do I need to know?”
You may feel so frustrated by your first look at your dream, that it’s easy to feel powerless, confused or upset and just give up. But, although our dreams can be powerful allies they don’t speak in an easily understood language.
You may have to be patient and sit with your dream before its full meaning becomes clear. It might be a few days, or longer, before the full meaning comes to you. Having compassion will give you the capacity and willingness to more deeply explore the dream. Compassion will help you to endure the mystery of your dream.
Sometimes we think that to develop an open heart, to be truly loving and compassionate, means that we need to be passive, to allow others to abuse us, to smile and let anyone do what they want with us. Yet this is not what is meant by compassion. Quite the contrary. Compassion is not at all weak. It is the strength that arises out of seeing the true nature of suffering in the world. Compassion allows us to bear witness to that suffering, whether it is in ourselves or others, without fear; it allows us to name injustice without hesitation, and to act strongly, with all the skill at our disposal. To develop this mind state of compassion…is to learn to live, as the Buddha put it, with sympathy for all living beings, without exception. ― Sharon Salzberg, Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness
As Sharon writes here, compassion is not something that we can afford to live without. It’s something that we all need to navigate in the world today. We need it for ourselves, our families, communities and the world. But, it does start with you. Without first developing compassion for ourselves, it can be a struggle to offer true compassion for others. We must first accept that we need it and be willing to incorporate compassion into our lives.
How do you develop compassion? There are many ways you can use, and I’ll only name a few. You might have other techniques that work well for you. Work with whatever options are best for you. If you haven’t worked with any of these choices, then you can pick one or two and try them out. Work with your choice for a period of time and see how you feel.
- Have a kindness practice / Pay it forward practice
- Meditate on compassion regularly
- Do Tonglen on a regular basis
- Volunteer
- Keep a daily journal
- Have a gratitude practice
In addition to these practices don’t forget about your dreams! Don’t give up on them. Keep working with them and recognize that they’re offering you valuable insights. But, be willing to be gentle on yourself. At times, our dreams may bring a message that is at first hard to hear. But, that can indicate that the wisdom it offers is especially important.
As you begin to open your heart, and look at your dreams with compassion, you may begin to see their message in a new light. You might recognize the dream is indicating that a habit or trait you’ve felt bad about has actually served you in some way. This can be a very powerful understanding, especially if you can use it to mend your life and grow, instead of being defeated by it. For instance, it is one thing to accept that you may have a tendency toward being critical or bossy person. However, it is another thing to use that knowledge to hinder yourself or your spiritual growth. Have compassion for yourself and look to how that trait might help you be an effective leader. Be willing to look at how your perceived weakness can be modified to serve something positive.
I believe that compassion can help us to transform our lives. Also, know that compassion can transform your resistance into openness and acceptance. Being open can help you to live a more fulfilled life, and living in this way can help to transform your world. We are all powerful. We all have a place. We help to build a better world when we utilize our compassion for the betterment of everyone. Having compassion is about accepting that you are part of a connected world. It’s about accepting that you are not alone. You actions do matter.
For myself, I’ve had dreams related to puzzle solving, which I’ve used to explore my need for structure. With compassion I’ve explored these dreams, and although it can be difficult, I’ve come to see that these dreams can show me how to let go of my need for control and have fun. Others may have similar issues. But, all dreams are unique to the individual. What I have come to see for myself is that by being willing to let go, I can approach problem solving from an entirely different perspective. Problem solving and a need structure aren’t bad. I can still look to bring structure in, but I don’t have to focus solely on it. Looking at my own needs has helped me to come to some important understandings, and I hope that you can too.
Wednesday, 3 December 2014
Saturday, 22 November 2014
Saturday, 28 June 2014
the quest continues
I am back on my quest to find myself.............
Family Life...........
After my second son left home, I have not felt like blogging or writing down my feelings about anything. I have been lost and stopped searching for the truth. But sometimes you don't need to search to learn lessons about life.
My youngest son and I have sorted out our differences and have become really close. But my relationship with my other son has been estranged.
He wrote me a few emails on Facebook that I still find difficult to understand and I am not sure where his negative feelings come from. He really hurt my feelings on the week of my birthday.(2011) Sadly that is how long ago I drafted this post. He told me I wasn't welcome in his new home, and this rejection hurt beyond words. He had just moved into his new place and he didn't want me to visit because the place needed furniture. He failed to understand that I wasn't visiting to see his place but to see him. Although later I found out that the reason he didn't want me to visit was because I would cramp his style and that there was going to things going on that he knew I would clearly disapprove off. A lot has changed since I wrote this post.
The following birthday I had planned to spend alone, but my son Kris,and his girlfriend robin, My brother Anthony and my friend Ray all called to celebrate the evening with me.
Since writing the above post my Son Kris and his girlfriend Robin have both moved from the flat to a nice house but it lacked garden facilities. He stayed there for a couple of months and then moved again. He now has a lovely home close to the shops, a nice garden for himself and his girlfriend to grow herbs. He also has a dog named Stinky. He is still with the same girlfriend and has just completed his plumbing course that he took at College. He also passed his theory test for his driving. I am very proud of him. I have always known that he has the potential to do something with his life if he so chose to. Prior to these events, he was a travelling hippie, tripping on Ketamin and experiencing life by travelling over Europe and squatting where he could.
His girlfriend Robin has taken up cookery at the college and she makes the most delicious desserts that I have tasted. Sadly though recently she miscarried their child. Here I pray the next time the baby is healthy and she has an easy pregnancy. My prayer is with her and my son. They are thinking of moving abroad. She misses her family and there is little opportunity for work in this small town that we live.
He has a job working for a charity that signs people up to make monthly contributions to help children abroad from third world countries. He works five days a week and has to do some community work of Saturdays. Robin was nursing in an Old people's home before they both moved to Cardiff. They moved on Mother's day 2014. My son is still working hard and robin is doing some work as a waitress Before having the baby she worked in an old people's home.
My son Michael is going to University this September 2014.
I am so proud of both my boys. they have come a long way since leaving home.
It is now 2015 and so much as change. My oldest son and his girlfriend have become proud parents of a baby boy named Max. My first grandson.
My youngest as successfully completed his first year in university.
So I have plenty to be grateful for and I am one very proud Mum.
| Max meaning Greatness |
| My two sons. My youngest lad Michael is holding the baby and besides him is max's dad Kris (my 1st born) |
| Proud parents Robin and Kris |
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