Me,Myself and I

My photo
Aberdare, South Wales, United Kingdom
I am a seeker of the truth. Honesty & Integrity are very important to me. I am a student of life who Loves to learn from Life and friends. I live by a system of values and honorable principles. I am a harmony seeking idealist. I am keen to understand others,and what makes them tick.I seek ways to improve my mental ability.

Monday, 25 September 2017

One word to describe my personality - PERFECTIONIST


One word to describe my personality.


What word would you choose to describe your personality?

The word personality originates from the Latin word persons which means mask.

Personality refers to a pattern of thoughts, feelings, social adjustment, behaviour shown over time, that influences one's expectations, self perception, values, and attitudes.

There are many words to describe who I am.

Perfectionist is just one of three words to describe my personality.

I have decided to write about my internal thoughts and views  and how I see myself and my world.

One of my biggest problems was being  a Neurotic Perfectionist, with OCPD, and I  suffered Suicidal Depression.

 Let me explain what a Perfectionist with OCPD means, and share with you my experience Of Living with this condition.

Perfectionism, in psychology, is a belief that can and should be attained. In its pathological form, perfectionism is a belief that work or output that is anything less than perfect is unacceptable. At such levels, this is considered an unhealthy belief, and psychologists typically refer to such individuals as maladaptive perfectionists.

Hewitt, who has studied perfectionists for the past 14 years, says they fall into three main categories:

Self-oriented perfectionists, who believe they must be perfect.

Other-oriented perfectionists, who want others to be flawless.

Socially prescribed perfectionists, who feel they must be perfect because someone might be watching.

"These individuals don't have a real high regard for themselves," Hewitt says.

All three types, he says, put themselves through the same self-inflicted punishment.

"People who strive for excellence tend to experience satisfaction; people who strive for perfection tend not to."










Volunteers in Hewitt's study take a computerized test. Meanwhile, monitors watch for signs of stress.
Those who agonize over their answers long after the test is over reveal themselves as possible perfectionists.

Are you a perfectionist. Take the test to find out!
http://stress.about.com/od/selfknowledgeselftests/a/perfect_quiz.htm

My results from the perfectionist quiz.

You're A Perfectionist




You probably already know that your perfectionistic tendencies cause you stress and complicate your life in some ways, but you probably don't realize the extent of perfectionism's negative effects on your lifestyle and stress level. The resources below can explain more about perfectionism, and give you resources for changing. I highly recommend you begin the journey now. Don't worry if it takes a little time to change your patterns; any progress made can benefit you from now on!



Perfectionism is an intellectual exercise that draws attention away from emotions and prevents the you exploring your creative power.
Perfectionism is an attempt to live in an imaginary world to escape from living in the reality.
Avoidance of painful emotions generates compulsive cleaning, organising and completing task lists. (but each day you have a new task list)
It fixates your attention on how your circumstances should be and masks the feelings about how life really is.
Every ism including perfectionism is a compulsive need to control, created by fear painful emotions.
It is a search, imposed on your circumstances, yourself and others for a solution to emotions that are to painful to experience.

Perfectionism is to live in an illusory future that cannot be attained.
it is a hunger that cannot be satisfied.
A thirst that cannot be quenched.
and Pain that cannot be relieved.
It is a persistent and painful drama that lures your attention away from the real feelings that you have.



Our Perfectionism hurts others.
This is what happens. We become fixers.We try to fix everyone's problems.But all these problems weigh us down. We rob our body of energy and burn out. Our immune system breaks down and we become ill.

We need to let go of things that we have no control over.

Our perfectionism plays havoc with our children's lives.

Be a Mentor or a teacher but not a rescuer.

 I have spent most of my life chasing perfectionism. When I was young I tried so very hard to be a perfect child, to gain love and affection from my mother. Then the perfect student, and on to be the perfect mother and then the perfect wife. Everything I did was to a standard that no one could achieve. My house was perfect, my chores were done, Leaving me time to spend with my family, time for self, time to enjoy my life. I did well on all accounts except for the perfect marriage. My husband's behaviour and my volatile attitude made sure of that. But that didn't stop me. it just meant I wasn't trying hard enough. I just had to try harder.
Eventually, there came a day when the whole trip collapsed. I realized that the game was up – that despite my best efforts, I would never be perfect.

I became a Neurotic Perfectionist. I was motivated by the need for approval, by my family and friends. I was Told By a Psychiatrist that I was suffering from OCPD - Obsessive, Compulsive, Personality disorder.

Perfectionism is a socially approved trap. It may sound reasonable to "always aim for the best," to "never settle for second place," and so on. But in the end, perfectionism is a hopeless game. It is like endlessly chasing a carrot on a stick.


On the deepest level, perfectionism is a futile search for self-worth. "If I do this one thing better," perfectionists say to themselves, "then I’ll be worthy. Then I’ll be a good person, and people will like me, love me, want me or even need me. But this is far from the truth. Doing better and being perfect does not guarantee us love, worth or anything.
 perfectionism robs you of your self-worth, your peace of mind, your enjoyment of life, and self-esteem.


I would willingly Submit to the wishes, expectations and demands of others. I found it impossible to say No when asked to do something by my family and my friends.


perfectionist



I never felt my best was good enough. I feared being judged, condemned, and abandoned. I used to think If My dad could abandon me, and stop loving me, then what chance did I have of anyone else loving me.( this has led me to believe that i might suffer from BPD - Borderline personality disorder)

I became a Neurotic perfectionist due to bad parenting, emotional and mental abuse.I was brought up to appease and please others if I wanted any love. OCPD means being personally obsessed with doing the right thing and avoiding mistakes. My life was overtaken by my compulsive cleaning and organising. My crystal and glassware had to be sparkling. My ornaments had to be symmetrical, and everything had to be in its place. I am aware that I have to work on the underlying prosses and drives, not just the symptoms.

 When I work the reasons to be perfect and understand the process of what makes me this way, I will no longer have need for this behaviour


Sources: http://www.dailyblogtips.com/perfectionism-is-bad-for-you/

Friday, 17 March 2017

My name is Julie

My Name is Julie


I was going to be called Julia, but my dad made an error when he registered me.

Julie is a popular Latin first name which originally comes from the Latin Julia which could mean youthful, soft-haired, beautiful or vivacious. It is the feminine form of Julius and can be a pet form of Julia, or Juliette.

What Does Name "Julie" Mean?

You are honest, benevolent, brilliant and often inventive, full of high inspirations. You are courageous, honest, determined, original and creative. You are a leader, especially for a cause. Sometimes you do not care to finish what you start, and may leave details to others. You can do well in the position of authority, and prospers in intellectual and professional fields.Emergencies may raise your intuitive abilities to resolve conflict or situation. You become very creative under pressure, and have quite original ideas to make the best out of it.
Creative and outgoing, you are always looking for an opportunity to show your abilities, especially before audience. You are very flexible and likes to feel appreciated. You are looking for chances to mix with others socially and to communicate his ideas. You like to talk and can easily relate to different cultures and concepts. The biggest challenge for you is uncertainty. Easily getting bored, you can move from one job to another, switch projects and lovers. The high creative force can lead you either to happiness or unhappiness. If you understand your goals, if you can make major decisions in life and follow it directly and straight up without worry and uncertainty, you are able to achieve great heights.

What is the meaning/definition of the letters in the name Julie?

Meaning of Julie by its letters

Julie name means:

J: Meaning of

J

in the name

Julie

Means: You fancy having some of the things others enjoy luxuriously. Intuition is useful, rely on it. Eloquence expresses gifted mind. Business schemes are dangerous, beware. Inventiveness, well-managed, brings wealth and high position. Channel energy into helping others.

You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for love-making, there is nothing to stop you, except maybe the stamina of your partner. (you could have danced all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game. You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart, you are a gypsy and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long-distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. The sex act seems to satisfy a need to be nurtured deep within.

U: Meaning of

U

in the name

Julie

Means: You work harder to excel in your field and challenges. Take great pride in achievements, which are noteworthy. Family and home are pride and joy, give them attention. Boasting about success ends in disappointment. Avoid vulgarity, it has no place in your life. Lack of respect may hamper. Boost another and see how life changes. Altruism brings unexpected happiness and financial reward. Adhere to ideals, they bring recognition. Beware of egotism, it could be your downfall. Honesty brings honour and distinction. Intolerance and fanaticism could ruin you. Versatility and creativity find a place in exalted undertakings. Avoid exaggeration, adhere to the truth. Remain practical to bring stability to the family, business, and social life. A perfectionist, taken to extremes: impossible.

You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a gypsy and need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate look good. Your sex drive is strong, and you desire instant gratification. You are willing to put your partner’s pleasures above your own.

L: Meaning of

L

in the name

Julie

Means: It is hard for you to comprehend why people behave silly sometimes. Sobriety and thoughtfulness promote talent. Secrets of magic and mystery are yours if you desire. Control sexual urge to avoid unpleasant situations and relationships. Avoid the supernatural, it has nothing to offer. To achieve success and happiness, first overcome hatred and jealousy. Spiritual studies are beneficial. Outdoor occupations make money.

You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it’s all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating. Otherwise, you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you’re being appreciated.

I: Meaning of

I

in the name

Julie

Means: You could be temperamental sometimes. Efforts rewarded by beautiful family life. Opposite sex can be a nuisance. Talent in your greatest love and inspiration. Inconstancy causes great anguish. Empathy and human understanding bring rewards. Cleverness may interfere with physical desires. Do not confuse sensuality with love of family. Follow your ideals.

You have a great need to be loved, appreciated… even worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of sexual expression. You bore easily and thus require sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.

E: Meaning of

E

in the name

Julie

Means: You are a very exciting person. Timidity recedes as you mature. Secretiveness and selfishness give power, lose support unless craving for money and power moderated. Innate intelligence and diplomacy bring ambition to fruition. Versatility brings honours, do not become careless. Use, develop, and apply imagination and succeed, but avoid irrationality. If you knew what people really think of you, you would be surprised.

Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating, or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for a bed mate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don’t have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book.

Names, sentences and phrases similar to Julie



Famous People Named Julie

Julie Andrews (born Julia Elizabeth Wells), English actress and singer
Julie London (born Gayle Peck), American jazz singer and actress
(MarieJulie ClaryQueen consort of Joseph Bonaparte of Spain
Julie Isabel Bishop, Australian politician
Julie Bowen, American actress
Julie M. Benz, American actress
Julia Ann "JulieHarris, American actress
Julia Mary "Julie" Walters, English actress
Julie Deborah Kavner, American actress
Julie Suzanne Chen, American news anchor
Julie Frances Christie, British actress 

http://pin.it/X4voHZD



Julie Richards




The path to Wisdom

The Path to Wisdom

                                            Part two



The beginning of wisdom is experience.

Knowledge is the act of knowing,
Wisdom is the Act of Being.


“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ~Aristotle


Tryon Edwards

We cannot always predict the future: but we can experience, and learn from, the present.




Quote by Rachel Carson


I sincerely believe that for the child, and for the parent seeking to guide him, it is not half so important to know as to feel. If facts are the seeds that later produce knowledge and wisdom, then the emotions and the impressions of the senses are the fertile soil in which the seeds must grow. The years of early childhood are the time to prepare the soil. Once the emotions have been aroused -- a sense of the beautiful, the excitement of the new and the unknown, a feeling of sympathy, pity, admiration or love -- then we wish for knowledge about the subject of our emotional response. Once found, it has lasting meaning. It is more important to pave the way for the child to want to know than to put him on a diet of facts he is not ready to assimilate.


Tryon Edwards



Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
Thomas Jefferson



Living a life of honest and integrity,humility,courtesy,charity will Put you on the right path towards wisdom

Julie Richards

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Messages for the Soul

Your Life adventure happens when....





Your life’s adventure happens
when you remember
you are here on a journey of experience.
There is no failure,
there is no guilt,
there is no blame,
there is only experience.
There is choice.
To react is to contract and feed the ego,
to observe reflection in
acceptance and surrender to this infinite moment,
it is as it is,
creates expansion and recovery from the ego.
You hold the power in your beliefs
© Edel O’Mahony







Taken from the path of the peaceful warrior.

 Edel O’Mahony


Julie Richards


Saturday, 4 March 2017

14 ingredients of Personal Growth.





14 Ingredients Of Personal Growth

November 4, 2015

“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw
Even when we are “grown up,” we are never truly done growing – every moment holds the chance to deepen our wellness of mind, body and spirit. So here are 14 thoughts (arranged by acronym!) to help you move closer to all you wish to become.

P

PASSION
Invest deeply in your dreams and ambitions, and give them time to grow.

E

ENERGY
Place your energy into relationships, professions and activities that are rewarding and enriching.

R

REJUVENATION
Rest when you need to. Regular sleep helps the brain and the body grow and heal.

S

STRENGTH
Value and nourish your physical wellness through stimulating activities such as yoga, tai chi and other outlets.

O

OBSTACLES
Develop a healthy mindset towards life challenges. Try to view temporary setbacks not as failures, but as learning experiences.

N

NATURAL WELLNESS
Enhance your overall wellbeing through mindful nutrition. Focus on organically grown foods that will help you grow strong!

A

AWAKEN
Use exercises like meditation and mindfulness practice to nurture your spiritual self and increase your understanding of existence.

L

LOVE
Develop your powers of compassion through small acts of kindness every day.
------------

G

GRATITUDE
Gradually make thankfulness a part of your daily routines. Be grateful for the small things as well as the big ones.

R

REALIZATION
Accept that growth is a process of change… who you are in this moment is not necessarily who you will be in the future.

O

OPENNESS
Allow new experiences into your life. New books, foods, friends, and travels will expand your mind and make you feel well rounded.

W

WONDER
Purposefully seek adventure and discovery. Take in art, dance, music and literature to encourage your creativity and imagination.

T

TRANSFORMATION
A flower cannot remain a seed forever. Don’t be afraid of changing – trust the path before you and keep moving!

H

HAPPINESS
Above all else, make it your mission to live and grow each day in happiness.


This article is from https://www.mindfueldaily.com/livewell/14-ingredients-of-personal-growth-an-acronym
Julie Richards

Saturday, 25 February 2017

A Mom's Life

A Mom's Life.

written by Delia Ephron

Take your plate into the kitchen,please
Take it downstairs when you go,
Don't leave it there,take it upstairs.
Is that yours?
Don't hit your brother.
I'm talking to you.
Just a minute,please,can't you see I'm talking?
I said, Don't interrupt.
Did you brush your teeth?
What are you doing out of bed?
Go back to bed.
You can't watch in the afternoon
What you mean,there's nothing to do?
Go outside.
read a book.
Turn it down.
Get off the phone
Tell your friend you'll call her back. Right now!
Hello. No,she's not home.
She'll call you when she gets home.
Take a jacket. take a sweater.
Take one anyway.
Someone left their shoes in front of the TV.
Get the touys out of the hall. Get the toys out of the bath tub. Get the toys off the stairs.
Do you realise that could kill someone?
Hurry up
hurry up. Everyone's waiting.
I'll count to ten and then we're going without you.
Did you go to the bathroom?
If you don't go, you're not going.
I mean it.
Why didn't you go before you left?
Can you hold it?
What's going on back there?
Stop it.
I said, Stop it!
I don't want to hear about it.
Stop it or I'm taking you home right now.
That's it. We're going home.
Give me a kiss.
I need a hug.
Make your bed.
Clean up your room.
Set the table.
I need you to set the table!
Don't tell me it's not your turn.
Please move your chair to the table.
Sit up.
Just try a little. You don't have to eat the whole thing.
Stop playing and eat.
Would you watch what your doing?
Move your glass. It's too close to the edge.
Watch it!
More,what?
More,please. That's better.
Just eat one bite of salad.
You don't always get what you want. That's life
Don't argue qith me.I'm not discussing this any more.
Go to your room.
No, ten minutes are not up.
One more minute.
How many times have I told you, don't do that.
Where did the cookies go?
Eat the old fruit before you eat the new fruit.
I'm not giving you mushrooms. I've taken all the mushrooms out. See?
Is your homework done?
Stop yelling. If you want toi ask me something, come here. STOP YELLING. IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME SOMETHING,COME HERE.
I'll think about it.
Not now.
Ask your father.
We'll see.
Don't see.
Don't sit to close to the television, it's bad for your eyes.
Calm down.
Calm down and start over.
Is that the truth?
Fasten your seat belts?
I'm sorry that's the rule. I'm sorry, that's the rule. I'm sorry that's the rule.



Julie Richards

Friday, 24 February 2017

How do we gain Wisdom,why do we need it, and When do we use it? (part one)

What is Wisdom?  Part One.

Quotes are taken from the book 1001 Ways to Wisdom

Wisdom is more than Knowledge.

Knowledge which is divided into three domains, Personal, Propositional, and Procedural.

 Personal Knowledge is based on the first-hand experience,
 Procedural relies on the first-hand truth about the world as we see it 
 and Propositional is based on things we learn, like how to do something like baking a cake, riding a  bike.

Wisdom, is the ability to think using knowledge, personal experience, understanding, Judgement, Intelligence, Insight and Common sense.



How do we gain Wisdom; why do we need it; and when do we use it?

It is not knowledge that makes us wise, it is knowing how to use that knowledge.

Knowledge can exist without Wisdom, but not the other way around. One can be knowledgeable without having wisdom. Wisdom is the appropriate application of knowledge. For example, Knowledge is learning the ten commandments. Wisdom is following them.


Wisdom 


Wisdom is not the same as knowledge,
A person may know a lot but be a fool.
In the same way, a simple man may be
profoundly wise


It is better to know yourself than those that speak of you.


Wisdom is a deep understanding of people, events, and situations. It requires control over one's emotional reaction, so that reason and knowledge, not passion determine one's actions.


Philosophy, according to the Greeks, is the love of wisdom.


Wise men and wise women

You will know when you come across a wise woman because others will go to her for advice.

A wise man never speaks of his wisdom unless he is asked to do so

Quote: - Knowing others is intelligence
Knowing yourself is true wisdom
Mastering others is strength
Mastering yourself is true power
Tao Te Ching

So to sum up Wisdom is;acceptance,gratitude,attentiveness,kindness,patience,commitment,wonder,insight,empathy,respect,integrity,joy,intelligence,courage,equanimity,co-operation,serenity,honesty,curiosity,openness,and many other qualities.

Time ripens all things; no person is born wise. Cervantes



To gain the path to wisdom See Part two
                                                                                                             
Julie Richards