Me,Myself and I

My photo
Aberdare, South Wales, United Kingdom
I am a seeker of the truth. Honesty & Integrity are very important to me. I am a student of life who Loves to learn from Life and friends. I live by a system of values and honorable principles. I am a harmony seeking idealist. I am keen to understand others,and what makes them tick.I seek ways to improve my mental ability.

Thursday, 1 December 2016

Would you like to Heal yourself?

Would you like to heal yourself?





Do you want to change your health and heal yourself?
If you do,
You need to change your thoughts

Are you suffering from any illness And want to recover by thoughts alone? You need to rehearse the desired outcome mentally. So a person's inner thoughts become more real than the disease. The brain won't know the difference and fire new neuronrs. These neurones make connections that think your visualisations are correct. Then your health improves.

People with high levels of optimism can boost their immune system and therefore have the ability to fight illness. Your attitude is important because when we see life with an active mind, we become healthier. And live longer happier lives, A good way to do this, is to be more grateful and complain less.


The outer condition of a person's life will always be found to reflect their inner belief, James Allen.




  



Tuesday, 1 November 2016

My Self Observations


My Self-Observations
I am many things


As an observer of my life, I want to write about events that are happening to me and around me. I am a narrator, and the words you will read will be my story that I tell.

Through writing, I hope I can find the wisdom within myself that I need for the future.
Through my writing in my journals, I am hoping I can deal with my fears and insecurities and move forward.

I need to learn new thinking. I need access to my inner thoughts and find answers to my soul searching questions. I need to accept who I am (but who am I?)

I need to learn to love, respect and accept myself for who I am but how can I do this when I don't feel truly loved.

In my life long search to find out who I am and what my soul purpose is.

I have discovered

  • I am Kris and Michael's mother.
  • I am Max's grandmother. 
  • I am Christian's stepmother. 
  • I am  Ann's daughter. 
  • I am  Alison, Anthony, Annmarie, and David's sister. 
  • I am also Mark's and Stephen's sister.(on my dads' side of the family)
  • I am Billy's stepdaughter
  • I am Jason's ex-wife
  • I am Jamie, Kirsty, Liam, and Tilly's aunty.
  • I am also Sherri-leigh and Emily's aunt (through marriage.)
So many titles accompany my name. Julie Richards. My Surname I changed before I got married. I Was once named Loring


  • I am a housekeeper, 
  • Cleaner,
  • Cook, 
  • Nurse, 
  • Teacher, 
  • Friend, 
  • Counsellor, 
  • Researcher. 
But sadly none of those titles tells me who I am.

I find myself searching for love and happiness. I would be happy to receive some gratitude from any of the roles I play. But sadly it rarely happens and this leaves me disheartened. I find joy in giving, but without any feedback I never know if what I have done is acceptable, appreciated or liked.

I would define my identity by my Competence and Independence.
I have been thinking how good it makes me feel to help others.
I find Joy in giving. But have a problem in receiving.
So I need to learn grace and humility and accept the help offered to me, in the spirit it is offered or given.
I must not always think what is this person's hidden agenda.  I have genuine friends. I Just need to be aware of the one's dressed in sheep's clothing.

I know I need to change as I view my Life
I am a perfectionist and suffer from O.C.P.D.

I am self-critical, very volatile, inflexible, critical and impatient.

Sometimes I have difficulty expressing my emotions and saying what I feel.
I blurt out stuff I don't believe and have trouble putting my feelings into words - thus not being able to get the support from others that I need.
I got to be careful what I say as I have a tendency to upset others with my sharp tongue.
I tend to go against the crowd and cause revelation in those around me.
My lack of control over my feelings can cause arguments. These are the times I lack support and have to do things alone.
I feel overwhelmed at times.

I insist on perfection at the expense of my personal emotions and feelings.
I sometimes say things I don't mean,
and I don't always mean what I manage to say.
These are just a few of my personal problems.
I want to find Joy, Happiness, and Love.

Here are a few of my goals that I want to work through....
To have complete control over my life
to master my emotions, and find ways to deal with my emotional pain rather than escaping from it.

Increase my Self-esteem and Self- Confidence.
Find my real purpose and travel the road that leads me to it.

Have a loving and honest relationship with my boys

Find a partner who lives his life by integrity and Can love me for who I am.

I also want to work on my Self - Awareness.

Why do I think these Negative, Anxious, Self-critical thoughts of myself?

Self-Compassion - I need to understand my negative Pessimism, my anxiety, and my self-criticism

What triggers my moods?  How did my negativity protect me in the past and does it still protect me?


I want to move from the past and live more in the present moment.                                                                      

Thursday, 27 October 2016

A prison without walls

My Prison of Depression
by Julie Richards
















I am behind a wall with no windows and no doors.
I feel trapped and helpless.

But inside this prison, I am safe,
from the outside world,

And their destructive words and actions,
which threatens to destroy me.

There is no one in this prison, except for the prisoner (me)  
and the jailer(me)

Life in this prison is not pleasant.
The only company is the jailer,

She is very cruel.
She taunts me with self-criticisms.

Thus the isolation starts as a place of safety 
but soon becomes a place of torture.

And the depression begins.

Inside this prison, there is a massive wall,
separating me from the outside world.

I reach out for help.
But the barrier intervenes.

I take a step forward.
But there is nowhere to go.

There are no windows.
There are no doors.

People are reaching out to me.
I can hear them, but I cannot touch.
Loneliness and fear shut them out.

My fears of being hurt again result in me being alone.
I must live my life with this fear of growing old,
unwanted and unloved
and being on my own.

I have grown up with this barrier against other people,
stopping me getting too close.

I have this powerful feeling that if I let the barrier down,
I will be swirled away in a destructive flood of emotions.

I cannot risk letting down my wall and discover
what it would be like in an intimate relationship.

It could be a relationship where I float in a flood of joyful emotions with no barriers.
A flood where  I float in bliss, happiness, and love.

Not as I do now feel only fear,  helplessness, and sorrow.
I grew up loving my parents, and fearing them a little.

They disappointed me, hurt, betrayed and abandoned me.

Now I feel afraid to love completely,
I must protect myself from ever feeling this hurt again.

If I don't protect myself who will protect me.
So a life of isolation is what is in store for me.

I need to start digging a tunnel to get out of this hell hole,
 to escape the darkness and find the light.

I have to stop blaming myself, for my family being like barbwire 'untouchable'
It is not my fault my mother was misguided, mistaken and confused.
Or my fault my father abandoned me and died.

I know once I accept this I will find the light.
Free to live and love.
The first time in my life.

I was twenty-one when I wrote this poem.
Julie Richards
I have posted it here in the raw format as I wrote with no changes.




You are confined by the walls you build yourself.

Friday, 26 August 2016

There Are 4 Personality Types, You Can Only Fit Into ONE. Which One Are You?

There Are 4 Personality Types, You Can Only Fit Into ONE. Which One Are You?



http://www.social-consciousness.com/2016/08/there-are-4-personality-types-you-can-only-fit-into-one-which-one-are-you.html


My results: - Emotional Introvert

Emotional

GettyImages-508938993
Most defining characteristics: You are sensitive, melancholic and a perfectionist.



You are a very emotional, caring and dedicated person. You believe that there is a bigger picture in life, one that we can’t really see, but we can feel.

You are very compassionate, strong minded, and devoted to your beliefs.

Although you tend to get melancholic, your ability to empathize for others is a true gift and you possess a sort of kindness that is rare.

Sunday, 31 July 2016

My birth Personality - written by www.sun signs.org

Birthday Personality Of People Born On 17th February (Star Sign Aquarius)





IF YOU ARE BORN ON FEBRUARY 17, you are hot-blooded and yes, my dear Aquarius, you are weird and wonderful! It’s not because of your out-going personality, or that you do not care for people knowing your personal business. It is not even that you prefer to be a loner.
People with a February 17th birthday are private and expect people to respect your wishes. (Call before you come as intrusive people are turn-offs for Aquarians.) It is because, Aquarius, you get in a mood and suddenly, your word becomes questionable.
As your birthdate horoscope profile shows, you become rebellious, hurtful and angry… almost to the point of doing physical harm to someone. If not this, then you are keeping to yourself. You do not answer phone calls or return messages.
17 February Aquarius, you can be stubborn and sometimes, you are just unstable. You need not act on your impulses all the time. It is in you… Be strong. Because of this, you do not make friends right away, or at least any real friends. You want them to shed their quandaries but will not allow yourself to be seen as human.
On the surface, many that seek your companionship are willing participants in the dating game until they find out that you value your freedom more than you value them. Aquarians born on February 17 are usually best compatible with someone much like themselves.
You don’t have to work as hard with two Aquarians. You are mirrors so, figuring out where your weakness are or where your strengths are, is easy.
On the other side, Aquarius, you are a do-gooder. The birth date analysis for those born on February 17 shows you are proud humanitarians. You will do something beneficial that will change the conditions of people for the better. You know how to get down to the root of a problem, hear both sides and draw your conclusion before making a decision.
Some of your efforts may be idiosyncratic so expect a negative response or two. That is when you pull your pants up, and dig deeper. People should respect your hard honesty. After all, you get the job done.
The 17 February birthdate person is full of ideas and your results are prosperous. What is wonderful about you Aquarius is that you are intelligent, rational, and down-to-earth. Those born on this day are Aquarians that can be trusted. You are always looking for new ways to make money. You have a progressive way of thinking. Aquarians are sophisticated people.
As the February birthday zodiac sign, you will be driven like the wind. Some people never change how their surroundings look. Not you… Aquarians live for change. You also have a flair that is different from most of ours. It is a drastic change from shopping at Gap.
You have invented your own style, which really shows your personality off. You love to mix and match the oddest of things. The proof is in your decorator’s tips complete with all the latest commodities.
17 February Aquarius birthdays do not really handle their own money very well. Since you prefer to work for yourself, you need to stay focused on the next bid. You need not wait until the last minute to secure another paycheck. It will save you the hassle of making payment arrangements or ultimately, having your power supply turned off.
If today is your birthday then you are advised to stay on the grind and stay away from quick loan services. Avoid the stress so you won’t suffer with headaches and experience sleepless nights.
Aquarians, you need to take good care of your health. You have an appreciation for alcohol. You need to be careful with that especially since you are prone to having some weird accidents, some of which can be down right funny stories.
Nevertheless, you have a propensity to have problems with your legs. You could also have bigger problems such as heart disease. No one wants that. Take care of yourself, Aquarius.
In conclusion, the Aquarius birthdate astrology for those born on February 17 says you are weird and wonderful! You are most certainly a proud, compassionate Aquarius. You have your own style and love doing your own thing.
Aquarians sometimes are responsible for their own financial struggles. Stay away from negative forces and take care of yourself!

This Day That Year – 17 February In History:

1904 – “Madama Butterfly,” an opera by Giacomo Puccini, premieres in Milan
1943 – Joe DiMaggio of the NY Yankees joins the Army
1962 – A new musical style is introduced by the Beach Boys with hit song “Surfin.”
1962 – A storm in Hamburg blows through and kills 265 people

Famous Birthdays On 17th February:

Jim Brown, Larry the Cable Guy, Taylor Hawkins, Paris Hilton, Hal Holbrook, Michael Jordan, Huey P Newton, Lou Diamond Phillips,  Bonnie Wright

Birth Sign:

You Fall Under Star Sign Aquarius

Corresponding Rashi (Vedic Moon Sign): Kumbha Rashi

Corresponding Chinese Zodiac Symbol: TIGER

Birth Planet:

Your ruling planet is Uranus that symbolizes the upheavals in the future, liberation of thoughts and new ideas.

Birthday Symbols:

The Water Bearer Is The Symbol For The Aquarius Star Sign

Birthdate Tarot Card:

Your BirthDay Tarot Card is The Star. This tarot card symbolizes a hope for the future, peace and spiritual awakening.

Birthday Love Compatibility:

You are most compatible with people born under Sun Sign Sagittarius: This will be an adventurous relationship that is always on the move.
You are not compatible with people born under Sun Sign Taurus: A relationship with the Bull will only end up in conflicts.

Birth Date Numerology:

Your Favorable numbers are:
Number 1 – This is a very dynamic number that stands for self confidence, will power, authority, individuality.
Number 8 – This is a very diplomatic number that stands for materialism, power, recognition and wealth.

Lucky Colors For February 17th Birthday:

Blue: This is a color that symbolizes trust, loyalty, peace, harmony and success.
Maroon: This colour stands for courage, strength, healing and beneficial powers.

Lucky Days For 17 February Birth dates:

Saturday – Ruled by planet Saturn. It symbolizes the need to control, balance and maintain stability

Birthday Stone:

Amethyst is a gemstone with healing properties that can help get over drunkenness and other addictions.

Ideal Zodiac Birthday Gifts For People Born On The 17th Of February:

A good 3D action flick with glasses for the man and a crystal bracelet for the lady.

Friday, 24 June 2016

Poem - If by Rudyard Kipling

'if' by rudyard kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you 
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, 
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 
But make allowance for their doubting too; 
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, 
Or being hated, don't give way to hating, 
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master, 
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; 
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster 
And treat those two impostors just the same; 
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken 
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, 
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings 
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 
And lose, and start again at your beginnings 
And never breathe a word about your loss; 
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 
To serve your turn long after they are gone, 
And so hold on when there is nothing in you 
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, 
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch, 
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, 
If all men count with you, but none too much; 
If you can fill the unforgiving minute 
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, 
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, 
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

Kipling is said to have written the poem 'If' with Dr Leander Starr Jameson in mind, who led about five-hundred of his countrymen in a failed raid against the Boers, in southern Africa. The 'Jameson Raid' was later considered a major factor in starting the Boer War (1899-1902).

Friday, 10 June 2016

A quiz - What effect do you have on men?

What effect do you have on men?



You have a very special effect on men. You are a woman who stands out from the crowd and who men can't stop thinking about! Many men will fall in love with you. It's up to you to choose the right one! Share your result with your friends so they can also find out what impression they leave on 
men!



I can relate to the results of this quiz.


What does your name mean in Japanese?

What does your name mean in Japanese?

You've got a really special name! Back in the day, the samurai recognized its imperial meaning! They designed this character with the prettiest calligraphy to express your unique personality. Your happiness brightens the days of your friends and family like a glorious sunrise in the countryside. There's nothing but pure happiness in your smile! 






Thursday, 19 May 2016

Michael & Danielle



New Photo of My youngest lad - Michael


Add caption

My Son and his girlfriend Danielle
















Thursday, 21 April 2016

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

Character

The ABC's of CHARACTER




It is agreed that there are 6 pillars of character that are composed of six ethical values. These are

  • Trustworthiness
  • Respect
  • Responsibility
  • Fairness
  • Caring
  • Citizenship
The following character trait are from Character First!(tm).
  • Alertness – Being aware of what is taking place around me so I can have the right responses.
  • Attentiveness – Showing the worth of a person or task by giving my undivided concentration.
  • Availability – Making my own schedule and priorities secondary to the wishes of those I serve.
  • Benevolence – Giving to others basic needs without having as my motive personal reward.
  • Boldness – Confidence that what I have to say or do is true, right, and just.
  • Cautiousness – Knowing how important right timing is in accomplishing right actions.
  • Compassion – Investing whatever is necessary to heal the hurts of others.
  • Contentment – Realizing that true happiness does not depend on material conditions.
  • Creativity – Approaching a need, a task, or an idea from a new perspective.
  • Decisiveness – The ability to recognize key factors and finalize difficult decisions.
  • Deference – Limiting my freedom so I do not offend the tastes of those around me.
  • Dependability – Fulfilling what I consented to do, even if it means unexpected sacrifice.
  • Determination – Purposing to accomplish right goals at the right time, regardless of the opposition.
  • Diligence – Investing my time and energy to complete each task assigned to me.
  • Discernment – Understanding the deeper reasons why things happen.
  • Discretion – Recognizing and avoiding words, actions, and attitudes that could bring undesirable consequences.
  • Endurance – The inward strength to withstand stress and do my best.
  • Enthusiasm – Expressing joy in each task as I give it my best effort.
  • Faith – Confidence that actions rooted in good character will yield the best outcome, even when I cannot see how.
  • Flexibility – Willingness to change plans or ideas according to the direction of my authorities.
  • Forgiveness – Clearing the record of those who have wronged me and not holding a grudge.
  • Generosity – Carefully managing my resources so I can freely give to those in need.
  • Gentleness – Showing consideration and personal concern for others.
  • Gratefulness – Letting others know by my words and actions how they have benefitted my life.
  • Honor – Respecting those in leadership because of the highter authorities they represent.
  • Hospitality – Cheerfully sharing food, shelter, or conversation to benefit others.
  • Humility – Acknowledging that achievement results from the investment of others in my life.
  • Initiative – Recognizing and doing what needs to be done before I am asked to do it.
  • Joyfulness – Maintaining a good attitude, even when faced with unpleasant conditions.
  • Justice – Taking personal responsibility to uphold what is pure, right, and true.
  • Loyalty – Using difficult times to demonstrate my commitment to those I serve.
  • Meekness – Yielding my personal rights and expectations with a desire to serve.
  • Obedience – Quickly and cheerfully carrying out the direction of those who are responsible for me.
  • Orderliness – Arranging myself and my surroundings to achieve greater efficiency.
  • Patience – Accepting a difficult situation without giving a deadline to remove it.
  • Persuasiveness – Guiding vital truths around another’s mental roadblocks.
  • Punctuality – Showing esteem for others by doing the right thing at the right time.
  • Resourcefulness – Finding practical uses for that which others would overlook or discard.
  • Responsibility – Knowing and doing what is expected of me.
  • Security – Structuring my life around that which cannot be destroyed or taken away.
  • Self-Control – Rejecting wrong desires and doing what is right.
  • Sensitivity – Perceiving the true attitudes and emotions of those around me.
  • Sincerity – Eagerness to do what is right with transparent motives.
  • Thoroughness – Knowing what factors will diminish the effectiveness of my work or words if neglected.
  • Thriftiness – Allowing myself and others to spend only what is necessary.
  • Tolerance – Realizing that everyone is at varying levels of character development.
  • Truthfulness – Earning future trust by accurately reporting past facts.
  • Virtue – The moral excellen ce evident in my life as I consistently do what is right.
  • Wisdom – Seeing and responding to life situations from a perspective that transcends my current circumstances.