i am me

I AM ME  By Virginia Satir

A poem that Virginia Satir wrote following a session with a young client who questioned the meaning of her life. The poem seems to resonate with psychotherapists and clients alike.

I am me.

In all the world, there is no one exactly like me.

There are persons who have some parts like me,
but no one adds up exactly like me.

Therefore, everything that comes out of me
is authentically mine because I alone choose it.

I own everything about me
My body including everything it does;
My mind including all its thoughts and ideas;
My eyes including the images of all they behold;
My feelings whatever they may be…
anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement
My Mouth and all the words that come out of it
polite, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect;
My Voice loud or soft.
And all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.

I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me I can become intimately acquainted with me.
By doing so I can love me and be friendly with me in all parts.
I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
and other aspects that I do not know.
But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully, look for solutions to the puzzles
and for ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,

And whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me.
This is authentic and represents where I am in that moment in time.
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did,

And how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.

I can discard that which is unfitting,

And keep that which proved fitting,
And invent something new for that which I discarded.

I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people
and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me.

I am me and I am okay.

I am a Seeker Of The Truth: My Self Observations

I am a Seeker Of The Truth: My Self Observations Click on this link to take you to the article.

One word to describe my personality - PERFECTIONIST

One word to describe my personality.

What word would you choose to describe your personality?

The word personality originates from the Latin word persons which means mask.

Personality refers to a pattern of thoughts, feelings, social adjustment, behaviour shown over time, that influences one's expectations, self perception, values, and attitudes.

There are many words to describe who I am.

Perfectionist is just one of three words to describe my personality.

I have decided to write about my internal thoughts and views  and how I see myself and my world.

One of my biggest problems was being  a Neurotic Perfectionist, with OCPD, and I  suffered Suicidal Depression.

 Let me explain what a Perfectionist with OCPD means, and share with you my experience Of Living with this condition.

Perfectionism, in psychology, is a belief that can and should be attained. In its pathological form, perfectionism is a belief that work or output that is anything less than perfect is unacceptable. At such levels, this is considered an unhealthy belief, and psychologists typically refer to such individuals as maladaptive perfectionists.

Hewitt, who has studied perfectionists for the past 14 years, says they fall into three main categories:

Self-oriented perfectionists, who believe they must be perfect.

Other-oriented perfectionists, who want others to be flawless.

Socially prescribed perfectionists, who feel they must be perfect because someone might be watching.

"These individuals don't have a real high regard for themselves," Hewitt says.

All three types, he says, put themselves through the same self-inflicted punishment.

"People who strive for excellence tend to experience satisfaction; people who strive for perfection tend not to."

Volunteers in Hewitt's study take a computerized test. Meanwhile, monitors watch for signs of stress.
Those who agonize over their answers long after the test is over reveal themselves as possible perfectionists.

Are you a perfectionist. Take the test to find out!
http://stress.about.com/od/selfknowledgeselftests/a/perfect_quiz.htm

My results from the perfectionist quiz.

You're A Perfectionist




You probably already know that your perfectionistic tendencies cause you stress and complicate your life in some ways, but you probably don't realize the extent of perfectionism's negative effects on your lifestyle and stress level. The resources below can explain more about perfectionism, and give you resources for changing. I highly recommend you begin the journey now. Don't worry if it takes a little time to change your patterns; any progress made can benefit you from now on!



Perfectionism is an intellectual exercise that draws attention away from emotions and prevents the you exploring your creative power.
Perfectionism is an attempt to live in an imaginary world to escape from living in the reality.
Avoidance of painful emotions generates compulsive cleaning, organising and completing task lists. (but each day you have a new task list)
It fixates your attention on how your circumstances should be and masks the feelings about how life really is.
Every ism including perfectionism is a compulsive need to control, created by fear painful emotions.
It is a search, imposed on your circumstances, yourself and others for a solution to emotions that are to painful to experience.

Perfectionism is to live in an illusory future that cannot be attained.
it is a hunger that cannot be satisfied.
A thirst that cannot be quenched.
and Pain that cannot be relieved.
It is a persistent and painful drama that lures your attention away from the real feelings that you have.



Our Perfectionism hurts others.
This is what happens. We become fixers.We try to fix everyone's problems.But all these problems weigh us down. We rob our body of energy and burn out. Our immune system breaks down and we become ill.

We need to let go of things that we have no control over.

Our perfectionism plays havoc with our children's lives.

Be a Mentor or a teacher but not a rescuer.

 I have spent most of my life chasing perfectionism. When I was young I tried so very hard to be a perfect child, to gain love and affection from my mother. Then the perfect student, and on to be the perfect mother and then the perfect wife. Everything I did was to a standard that no one could achieve. My house was perfect, my chores were done, Leaving me time to spend with my family, time for self, time to enjoy my life. I did well on all accounts except for the perfect marriage. My husband's behaviour and my volatile attitude made sure of that. But that didn't stop me. it just meant I wasn't trying hard enough. I just had to try harder.
Eventually, there came a day when the whole trip collapsed. I realized that the game was up – that despite my best efforts, I would never be perfect.

I became a Neurotic Perfectionist. I was motivated by the need for approval, by my family and friends. I was Told By a Psychiatrist that I was suffering from OCPD - Obsessive, Compulsive, Personality disorder.

Perfectionism is a socially approved trap. It may sound reasonable to "always aim for the best," to "never settle for second place," and so on. But in the end, perfectionism is a hopeless game. It is like endlessly chasing a carrot on a stick.


On the deepest level, perfectionism is a futile search for self-worth. "If I do this one thing better," perfectionists say to themselves, "then I’ll be worthy. Then I’ll be a good person, and people will like me, love me, want me or even need me. But this is far from the truth. Doing better and being perfect does not guarantee us love, worth or anything.
 perfectionism robs you of your self-worth, your peace of mind, your enjoyment of life, and self-esteem.


I would willingly Submit to the wishes, expectations and demands of others. I found it impossible to say No when asked to do something by my family and my friends.

perfectionist

I never felt my best was good enough. I feared being judged, condemned, and abandoned. I used to think If My dad could abandon me, and stop loving me, then what chance did I have of anyone else loving me.( this has led me to believe that i might suffer from BPD - Borderline personality disorder)

I became a Neurotic perfectionist due to bad parenting, emotional and mental abuse.I was brought up to appease and please others if I wanted any love. OCPD means being personally obsessed with doing the right thing and avoiding mistakes. My life was overtaken by my compulsive cleaning and organising. My crystal and glassware had to be sparkling. My ornaments had to be symmetrical, and everything had to be in its place. I am aware that I have to work on the underlying prosses and drives, not just the symptoms.

 When I work the reasons to be perfect and understand the process of what makes me this way, I will no longer have need for this behaviour


Sources: http://www.dailyblogtips.com/perfectionism-is-bad-for-you/

My name is Julie

My Name is Julie

I was going to be called Julia, but my dad made an error when he registered me.

Julie is a popular Latin first name which originally comes from the Latin Julia which could mean youthful, soft-haired, beautiful or vivacious. It is the feminine form of Julius and can be a pet form of Julia, or Juliette.

What Does Name "Julie" Mean?

You are honest, benevolent, brilliant and often inventive, full of high inspirations. You are courageous, honest, determined, original and creative. You are a leader, especially for a cause. Sometimes you do not care to finish what you start, and may leave details to others. You can do well in the position of authority, and prospers in intellectual and professional fields.Emergencies may raise your intuitive abilities to resolve conflict or situation. You become very creative under pressure, and have quite original ideas to make the best out of it.

Creative and outgoing, you are always looking for an opportunity to show your abilities, especially before audience. You are very flexible and likes to feel appreciated. You are looking for chances to mix with others socially and to communicate his ideas. You like to talk and can easily relate to different cultures and concepts. The biggest challenge for you is uncertainty. Easily getting bored, you can move from one job to another, switch projects and lovers. The high creative force can lead you either to happiness or unhappiness. If you understand your goals, if you can make major decisions in life and follow it directly and straight up without worry and uncertainty, you are able to achieve great heights.

What is the meaning/definition of the letters in the name Julie?

Meaning of Julie by its letters

Julie name means:

J: Meaning of

J

in the name

Julie

Means: You fancy having some of the things others enjoy luxuriously. Intuition is useful, rely on it. Eloquence expresses gifted mind. Business schemes are dangerous, beware. Inventiveness, well-managed, brings wealth and high position. Channel energy into helping others.

You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for love-making, there is nothing to stop you, except maybe the stamina of your partner. (you could have danced all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game. You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart, you are a gypsy and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long-distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. The sex act seems to satisfy a need to be nurtured deep within.

U: Meaning of

U

in the name

Julie

Means: You work harder to excel in your field and challenges. Take great pride in achievements, which are noteworthy. Family and home are pride and joy, give them attention. Boasting about success ends in disappointment. Avoid vulgarity, it has no place in your life. Lack of respect may hamper. Boost another and see how life changes. Altruism brings unexpected happiness and financial reward. Adhere to ideals, they bring recognition. Beware of egotism, it could be your downfall. Honesty brings honour and distinction. Intolerance and fanaticism could ruin you. Versatility and creativity find a place in exalted undertakings. Avoid exaggeration, adhere to the truth. Remain practical to bring stability to the family, business, and social life. A perfectionist, taken to extremes: impossible.

You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a gypsy and need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate look good. Your sex drive is strong, and you desire instant gratification. You are willing to put your partner’s pleasures above your own.

L: Meaning of

L

in the name

Julie

Means: It is hard for you to comprehend why people behave silly sometimes. Sobriety and thoughtfulness promote talent. Secrets of magic and mystery are yours if you desire. Control sexual urge to avoid unpleasant situations and relationships. Avoid the supernatural, it has nothing to offer. To achieve success and happiness, first overcome hatred and jealousy. Spiritual studies are beneficial. Outdoor occupations make money.

You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it’s all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating. Otherwise, you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you’re being appreciated.

I: Meaning of

I

in the name

Julie

Means: You could be temperamental sometimes. Efforts rewarded by beautiful family life. Opposite sex can be a nuisance. Talent in your greatest love and inspiration. Inconstancy causes great anguish. Empathy and human understanding bring rewards. Cleverness may interfere with physical desires. Do not confuse sensuality with love of family. Follow your ideals.

You have a great need to be loved, appreciated… even worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of sexual expression. You bore easily and thus require sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.

E: Meaning of

E

in the name

Julie

Means: You are a very exciting person. Timidity recedes as you mature. Secretiveness and selfishness give power, lose support unless craving for money and power moderated. Innate intelligence and diplomacy bring ambition to fruition. Versatility brings honours, do not become careless. Use, develop, and apply imagination and succeed, but avoid irrationality. If you knew what people really think of you, you would be surprised.

Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating, or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for a bed mate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don’t have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book.

Names, sentences and phrases similar to Julie

Pasted from <http://thenamesdictionary.com/name-meanings/171147/name-meaning-of-julie>

Famous People Named Julie

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Julie Andrews (born Julia Elizabeth Wells), English actress and singer

Julie London (born Gayle Peck), American jazz singer and actress

(Marie) Julie Clary, Queen consort of Joseph Bonaparte of Spain

Julie Isabel Bishop, Australian politician

Julie Bowen, American actress

Julie M. Benz, American actress

Julia Ann "Julie" Harris, American actress

Julia Mary "Julie" Walters, English actress

Julie Deborah Kavner, American actress

Julie Suzanne Chen, American news anchor

Julie Frances Christie, British actress 

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Julie Richards

The path to Wisdom

The Path to Wisdom

                                            Part two

The beginning of wisdom is experience.

Knowledge is the act of knowing,
Wisdom is the Act of Being.


“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ~Aristotle

Some of the best lessons we ever learn we learn from our mistakes and failures. The error of the past is the wisdom of the future.

Tryon Edwards

We cannot always predict the future: but we can experience, and learn from, the present.




Quote by Rachel Carson

I sincerely believe that for the child, and for the parent seeking to guide him, it is not half so important to know as to feel. If facts are the seeds that later produce knowledge and wisdom, then the emotions and the impressions of the senses are the fertile soil in which the seeds must grow. The years of early childhood are the time to prepare the soil. Once the emotions have been aroused -- a sense of the beautiful, the excitement of the new and the unknown, a feeling of sympathy, pity, admiration or love -- then we wish for knowledge about the subject of our emotional response. Once found, it has lasting meaning. It is more important to pave the way for the child to want to know than to put him on a diet of facts he is not ready to assimilate.

Some of the best lessons we ever learn we learn from our mistakes and failures. The error of the past is the wisdom of the future.

Tryon Edwards

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

Thomas Jefferson

Living a life of honest and integrity,humility,courtesy,charity will Put you on the right path towards wisdom

Julie Richards

Messages for the Soul

Your Life adventure happens when....

Messages for the Soul

Your life’s adventure happens
when you remember
you are here on a journey of experience.
There is no failure,
there is no guilt,
there is no blame,
there is only experience.
There is choice.
To react is to contract and feed the ego,
to observe reflection in
acceptance and surrender to this infinite moment,
it is as it is,
creates expansion and recovery from the ego.
You hold the power in your beliefs
© Edel O’Mahony

Taken from the path of the peaceful warrior.

 Edel O’Mahony

Julie Richards

14 Ingredients Of Personal Growth

November 4, 2015

“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw

Even when we are “grown up,” we are never truly done growing – every moment holds the chance to deepen our wellness of mind, body and spirit. So here are 14 thoughts (arranged by acronym!) to help you move closer to all you wish to become.

P

PASSION
Invest deeply in your dreams and ambitions, and give them time to grow.

E

ENERGY
Place your energy into relationships, professions and activities that are rewarding and enriching.

R

REJUVENATION
Rest when you need to. Regular sleep helps the brain and the body grow and heal.

S

STRENGTH
Value and nourish your physical wellness through stimulating activities such as yoga, tai chi and other outlets.

O

OBSTACLES
Develop a healthy mindset towards life challenges. Try to view temporary setbacks not as failures, but as learning experiences.

N

NATURAL WELLNESS
Enhance your overall wellbeing through mindful nutrition. Focus on organically grown foods that will help you grow strong!

A

AWAKEN
Use exercises like meditation and mindfulness practice to nurture your spiritual self and increase your understanding of existence.

L

LOVE
Develop your powers of compassion through small acts of kindness every day.

------------

G

GRATITUDE
Gradually make thankfulness a part of your daily routines. Be grateful for the small things as well as the big ones.

R

REALIZATION
Accept that growth is a process of change… who you are in this moment is not necessarily who you will be in the future.

O

OPENNESS
Allow new experiences into your life. New books, foods, friends, and travels will expand your mind and make you feel well rounded.

W

WONDER
Purposefully seek adventure and discovery. Take in art, dance, music and literature to encourage your creativity and imagination.

T

TRANSFORMATION
A flower cannot remain a seed forever. Don’t be afraid of changing – trust the path before you and keep moving!

H

HAPPINESS
Above all else, make it your mission to live and grow each day in happiness.

This article is from https://www.mindfueldaily.com/livewell/14-ingredients-of-personal-growth-an-acronym

Julie Richards