My whole life has been a search for Meaning, Purpose & completeness

। search for a more meaningful, balanced life with personal peace of mind.

All my life I have lived in this great ocean of life searching for that something that would fill the empty feeling that I feel I have carried with me since childhood. I yearn for something that I cannot see but know exists. i can't ignore this feeling as it cries out to me day and night.

I have O.C.P.D(Obsessive,Compulsive Personality Disorder) and I am a perfectionist. I spent all my time cleaning and when I am not cleaning I spend my time on one of my other obsessions. But I feel that I was put on this earth to be more than just a cleaner. I do believe there must be a purpose for me being here. Why was i given intelligence if all I am meant to do is clean.? That makes no sense.

So against all odds I am on my journey - a journey of discovery.

it begins as all Journey's do - with one single step.

- a simple moment of choice.

There are so many things I don't understand.
 I lack a higher Perspective.

At the moment I am weary. I feel like I have travelled so far only to end up further back. I feel exhausted and beaten.

I have so many obstacles in my way - Compulsions,Obsessions and Addictions. My Thoughts, the conscious and the unconcious ones.

Fear is what stops me moving forward and I know this is only      False  Evidence Appearing Real.

Being intelligent helps me to understand that I must make these changes if I ever want to find peace, Love and myself.

I need to follow the path that will lead me to My Awakened Self of Consciousness.

I want and yearn to discover the truth of my existence.