A week of worthiness

Article taken from http://www.ordinarycourage.com/my-blog/2010/3/8/a-week-of-worthiness.html?lastPage=true#comment7710524



Week of Worthiness. It's all part of the Wholehearted Revolution!




Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone; I am enough.



It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.


So many of us have knowingly created / unknowingly allowed / or been handed down a long list of worthiness "prerequisites."




I'll be worthy when I lose 20 pounds.



I'll be worthy if I get pregnant.



I'll be worthy if everyone thinks I'm a good mom.



I'll be worthy if I can make a living selling my art.



I'll be worthy if I can hold my marriage together.



I'll be worthy when I make partner.



I'll be worthy when I can do it all and look like I'm not even trying.



and so on . . .



Here's what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness:



Worthy NOW! Not when. Not if. We are worthy of love and belonging NOW. Right this minute. As is.

To read more pop on over to http://www.ordinarycourage.com/my-blog/2010/3/8/a-week-of-worthiness.

Empty Nest syndrome.

Empty Nest Syndrome

You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have, for instance.  ~Franklin P. Jones

It only seems like yesterday he was a babe in my arms. My eldest is twenty four and his name is Kris and my Youngest is Fifteen and his name is Michael

Here is a picture of when they were younger....

My youngest lad has now left home. He moved in with his father on the twenty-fifth  November 2009. I imagined him  leaving home to go to university but not to his dad's. I am pleased that he is at his dad's as I feel he needs a male influence in his life and also someone that he can't manipulate. I feel so much sadness and emptiness since he has gone. This is known as Empty nest syndrome.
   I feel so lost and alone and to say the words I miss Michael/him are very difficult for me as my eyes fill up, a lump appears in my throat and I am overwhelmed with a flood of tears.
  We used to constantly fight of the usual teenage things like, clothes left on floor, bath needing washing out, time for bed but he was here with me. As much as I hated the arguing he was here safe and sound until our relationship got physical. I used to get overwhelmed by little things like housework when my health started to deteoriate. I suffer from a pitting oedema, varicous veins, migraines, He made my life unbearable at times, he was manipulative and would do anything to get his own way. Things got out of hand and I hit him. I will never forgive myself for losing my temper and now that has cost me my son. I have always been volatile but my bark was usually worse than my bite. i swore I would never hit my boys. And now I get reminded of this mistake every day either by my youngest not being here or reminded by lad when he visits.

He said to me one day " Mam you know you only had two wishes that me and Kris had a happy child hood and that we both loved you. Well your not going to get your wish now are you?" Kris left home and went missing for two years and I can't wait to move out and move in with dad"

Well you can imagine those words cut like a knife

  I know his dad will take care of him but I still worry because he is now allowed to drink and swear.   I feel like crying all the time. I feel like my life has ended. I need to be needed and no one needs me any more. I feel a profound loss of purpose and identity I wonder if I was no longer around would I even be missed.. I want to sleep all the time. I don't want to visit friends and would prefer if people wouldn't visit me. I have important things to do like sort finances. But Cannot get motivated. The bailiffs have threatened to empty my home and it's only a matter of time. What are material possessions when you have lost the ones you love, and when you have lost your health and your dreams.My future seems bleak, my dreams are gone. I hate what I see when i look in the mirror. I hate who I have become

I know that the Time and energy that I directed toward my lad can now be spent on different areas of my life, but at this time I seem to have lost interest in my interests.

I put my dreams on the back burner, and said to myself, " when the kids have grown  up and left home, I am either going to travel or Go to University and Do my Psychology Degree. Now should be the time to bring those dreams into action, and move forward. But when I said those things I never expected to have health issues where i am unable to take long flights. I need to gain back some confidence to go to Uni. At the moment I am over weight, but the doctor isn't interested in finding out why. I am also suffering from water retention, Swollen feet, I have suffered depression since I was in my teen's and  I have Ocd.(Obsessive Compulsive personality disorder) I have to clean and organise things. The last couple of years I have become obsessed in collecting things e.g Me to you bears. Before that it was any article I could find on psychology on the internet. Now I am into card making, and you wont believe the amount of things I have bought and not yet used! The clutter then gets me down. I also suffer from Trichotillomania

 I have always wanted to start writing, so maybe I could use this spare time to write my story on this blog for my boys before looking for some work. I could also start drawing again. I used to love writing and drawing. I also used to write poetry

I am reminded of the verse in Ecclesiastes 3:4, which says, " A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." Let this be your time to laugh and your time to dance.




                                              

Quote

What is the first business of one who practices philosophy? To get rid of self-conceit. For it is impossible for anyone to begin to learn that which he thinks he already knows. - Epictetus, 55 AD-135 AD

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Happy New year

The Sounds of Happy New Year
With the holiday season upon us, here's a list that's sure to be a tongue twister. See how Happy New Year is pronounced around the world.

Arabic: Kul 'aam u antum salimoun
Brazilian: Boas Festas e Feliz Ano Novo means "Good Parties and Happy New Year"
Chinese: Chu Shen Tan
Czechoslavakia: Scastny Novy Rok
Dutch: Gullukkig Niuw Jaar
Finnish: Onnellista Uutta Vuotta
French: Bonne Annee
German: Prosit Neujahr
Greek: Eftecheezmaenos o Kaenooryos hronos
Hebrew: L'Shannah Tovah Tikatevu
Hindi: Niya Saa Moobaarak
Irish (Gaelic): Bliain nua fe mhaise dhuit
Italian: Buon Capodanno
Khmer: Sua Sdei tfnam tmei
Laotian: Sabai dee pee mai
Polish: Szczesliwego Nowego Roku
Portuguese: Feliz Ano Novo
Russian: S Novim Godom
Serbo-Croatian: Scecna nova godina
Spanish: Feliz Ano Neuvo or Prospero Ano Nuev

Turkish: Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun

Vietnamese: Cung-Chuc Tan-Xuan

 Swedish God Jul Gott Nytt Ar - Merry Christmas And Happy New year
Auld Lang Syne
The song, "Auld Lang Syne," is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English- speaking country in the world to bring in the New Year. In spite of the popularity of 'Auld Lang Syne', it has aptly been described as the song that nobody knows. Even in Scotland, hardly a gathering sings it correctly, without some members of the party butchering the words.
Written by Robert Burns in 1741, it was first published in 1796 after Burns' death. "Auld Lang Syne" literally means "old long ago," or simply, "the good old days."
Auld Lang Syne by Robert Burns

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne
We twa hae run aboot the braes
And pou'd the gowans fine;
we've wander'd mony a weary foot
Sin' auld lang syne
We two hae paidled i' the burn,
Frae mornin' sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin' auld lang syne
And here's a hand, my trusty friend,
And gie's a hand o' thine;
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne

Happy new year - New year's resolutions

We will open the book.  Its pages are blank.  We are going to put words on them ourselves.  The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.  ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce


New Year's is a unique holiday as it's the only holiday that celebrates the passage of time.

Perhaps that's why, as the final seconds of the year tick away, we tend to become introspective.

Then we wonder: how did time get away from us?

And why did all of our hopes and dreams never materialize?

Inevitably, that introspection turns to thoughts of
self-improvement and the annual ritual of making Resolutions.

We all do it. We swear to ourselves, "This is THE year" for
transforming our lives and fulfilling our goals.

We are determined to keep all the promises  to lose weight, stop
smoking, make more money, be more patient...



What resolutions did you make? Are they amongst the top ten?


Top ten resolutions


1. Spend more time with family and friends
2. Fit in fitness
3. Lose weight
4. Quit smoking
5. Enjoy life more
6. Quit drinking
7.Get out of debt
8. Learn something new
9. Help others
10. Get organised

New Year's Resolutions don't just have to be about losing weight or quitting smoking! Though these are certainly worthy endeavors, if you've been wishing to develop your creativity or drawing technique, now is the time to make these wishes into tangible goals. Pick one of these great ideas, write it out on a piece of paper, and stick it on your fridge or mirror as a daily reminder of your creative priority for the year.

1..I will make time for my art.

2. I will keep a daily sketch book.

3. I will study Anatomy and figure drawing.

4. I will study the old masters.

5. I will create a portfolio.

6. I will keep a journal of ideas.

7. I will practice drawing from life.

Whether you keep to your resolutions or break them will depend on your thinking process.

Earl Nightingale said 'You become what you think about."  Napoleon Hill said “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve." And now, in the poem '"e Victor" by C W Longenecker, another example of how to get our thinking processes working for us rather than against us.

The Victor

If you think you are beaten, you are.

If you think you dare not, you don't.

If you like to win but think you can't,

It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost.

For out in the world we find

Success begins with a fellow's will.

It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are out classed, you are.

You've got to think high to rise.

You've got to be sure of your-self before

You can ever win the prize.

Life's battles don't always go

To the stronger or faster man.

But sooner or later, the man who wins

Is the man who thinks he can.

You are what you believe.  BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

What do you want?

 What you want should be tangible. Which means you can see it and touch it. 

Being happy or having more money doesn’t count because they are the results of getting what you want.

The better question is “What are you willing to “DO” to achieve your dreams?”

Wow! That is vastly different. 

Are you ready to commit to your own success? 

You have most likely contributed to someone else’s success. It’s your turn!

You can want something and talk, talk, talk about it, but until you actually DO something about your wants, it will remain stuck as a topic of discussion.

Surprisingly, if you think about it, it is the little things like making a phone call, making notes, doing research, talking to someone, making a list of what needs to be done that will make ALL the difference. Little steps move you to turning your dream into a reality

 Never forget that you are in control of your destiny.

 Only you can change the course of your life by giving yourself direction and permission to live the life of your dreams.

Remember it is not what you want, but what you DO that produces results!

You are what you believe.  BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! 

Also if you want to succeed Remember this golden rule: Write down your goal or resolution.

The simple mechanical act of writing makes your goal visible and tangible. That’s no longer just a thought!

     Now it’s a commitment.

Reaching for and achieving truly big things in life requires not just action, but knowledge - often very specific knowledge.  Not knowing what to do or how to do it is a core ingredient in the recipe for failure.  Most people fail not because they don't know what to do today, but because they don't go learn what to do tomorrow. And with learning your self respect, your self esteem, your skills, your opportunities will grow

Today is the day - Time waits for no one. 

No day can ever be lived again. o day can ever be lived again. 

 Most people literally waste their opportunities by wasting their time and then cry about having no time to do all the things they want to do... and truly believe it.

It's amazing how much impact a few great habits can have on a person's life.  Habits like placing a high value on your time.  Habits like using spare moments to learn, to finish projects, to do errands, to pick up after yourself, to plan, to organize.  Habits that failures scoff at.  

As you will find not every goal will be fully achieved. Not every job will end successfully. Not every relationship will endure. Not every hope will come to pass. Not every love will last. Not every endeavor will be completed. Not every dream will be realized. But enjoy the journey and look at what you have achieved and what you have learned and remember the people who have left their soul prints.

A dream written down with a date becomes a goal,

a goal broken down becomes a plan,

a plan backed by action makes your dreams come true.

Now, that you've been given (or reminded of) this very simple way to accomplish your goals, what will you write down and start doing today so that this year will be your best one ever?

References: http://www.gotresolutions.com

Mew year's resolutions How to make them and achieve them. http://www.gotresolutions.com/report_download.html

http://www.how-to-set-and-achieve-a-goal.com/





"Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true."  Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1850